2004 West Country Tour

Sunday v North Curry
”Micky Sumner’s Pants”
Monday v Coalpit Heath Under 12’s
”Why Did He Ever Retire?….Oh Yes, That’s Why!”
Tuesday v Failand & Portbury
”Ants in Your Pants…and Shirt…and Hair…”.
Wednesday v Temple Cloud
”Anyone Else Want to Try Keeping?”
Thursday v Barrow Gurney
”Time to Go Home…”
Those All-Important and Infamous Tour Averages

 

North Curry v New Ash Green
Sunday 25th July 2004

Micky Sumner’s Pants

Tour Match - 40 Overs

New Ash Green 272-6 (40 overs)
North Curry 140 all out (33.2 overs)
New Ash Green won by 132 runs.

The first day of a new tour, and a new tour fixture in Taunton, which added a little extra to the journey time for the tour members making their way in various groups from around the country. Nonetheless the majority managed to find their way to the agreed meeting place, the Staplegrove Inn within a few minutes of the agreed meet time. Two snags immediately….limited parking at the pub, and it didn’t do food! Directions were received to another pub down the road, and the convoy set off, arriving at the pub shortly thereafter amidst a squeal of brakes and horns as the hidden pub entrance was spotted late by the drivers.  Another snag was revealed at the pub…Micky Sumner had forgotten to pack any underpants for tour! A quick trip to Asda soon had him sorted, with 8 pairs of high quality “George” pants for just a fiver!

 

There had been some foreboding on the trip between two pubs, as NAG had been promised a beautiful ground in front of Taunton school to play on. They had passed Taunton school and seen that a match already seemed to be taking place. These fears were confirmed when they returned to the school after lunch. There was a cricket week on at the school and the tour match was to take place on one of the school’s lesser pitches. Directions were obtained by Mr. Stuart, who then zoomed off and left most of the party trailing. James Thorn was left leading a convoy of about six cars. They passed a cul-de-sac at the end of which Andy Stuart’s car could be seen driving into a field, so James pulled into a layby and led the convoy in a U turn back towards the ground….or so we thought. As the rest of the convoy turned into the ground Mr. Thorn’s red Volvo could be seen disappearing into the distance. He was obviously not looking in his rear view mirror  to see what happened to his convoy as it took him at least another 15 minutes to find the ground.

 

The ground, once located, was pleasant enough, with a very rustic wooden pavilion with extremely limited facilities….limited to one of the bushes round the back in fact. In honour of his missing pants Micky Sumner was appointed captain and immediately succeeded in winning the toss and choosing to bat. On a rather green wicket the opening pair of Harrison and Chilcott got some movement, Chilcott particularly cutting the ball back in sharply, though he also put in a few loose ones. NAG openers Quantrill and Stuart got away to a tidy enough start, putting on 41 and seeming comfortable until Stuart drilled a half volley straight to mid-off for 22. Gary Browning survived a big LBW shout, for which he himself admitted he nearly walked, before being clean bowled for 0. James Thorn and Quantrill then put on 35, with Quantrill playing with increasing freedom, striking several fours and pulling a big 6 off a short ball from Chilcott (although according to the umpire, one Alex Payne, most of these came off his legs….) before being bowled for 48. Thorn, Micky Sumner and Andy Payne all scored a few runs, though Payne was lucky to survive an edge behind not given by Paul Sumner and Thorn unlucky to be given out LBW, not because he wasn’t out but because the umpire had just changed from Matt ‘not out’ Bushe to Matthew ‘only gives out the ones that are plumb’ Quantrill. At 128-6 in the 29th over NAG were looking likely to fall well below the sort of score that had seemed within their grasp, and would probably have happily settled for 200 at this point. Pete Burke and Andy Cox played themselves in, though, and then with 8 overs remaining started to launch an onslaught on the bowling. First up was Gardner, who’s first over of spin was savaged for 23, his second, from round the wicket going for 20. At the other end North Curry skipper, Kelly, had conceded just 14 in his first three overs. Gardner was replaced by Tyler, who went for 19, Kelly then went for 12, Tyler’s second over cost 18 and Kelly recovered from being hit for 6 from the first two balls of his last over to keep it down to 15, including a drop off the last ball. The scorebook had Burke down as 70* and Cox 66*, but there were a number of runs missing, and they probably both actually had scores in the 70’s (a number of efforts were made to pass the blame for the scorebook’s missing runs, but it seems likely that the skipper himself was the man responsible!). Together they added 144 runs for the 7th wicket, 122 of them in the last 8 overs!

 

In response North Curry were kept tight early on by Chris Yue and Pete Burke, tight enough that a risky attempt at a single brought the first wicket when Chris Hoddinott hit the stumps direct, choosing not to rely on the day’s wicketkeeper, Andy ‘Cymbals’ Stuart. Yue joined in with one of his own, bowled, and when Andy Cox took a wicket in his first over bowling spin (played on mis-hitting a longhop, possibly distracted by the bowler’s groan of dismay while the ball was still half way down the track!) North Curry were looking very shaky. Chilcott, who had opened the bowling, then kept wicket and was now opening the batting (he later changed his surname to ‘Duke’) still looked as if he might mount a challenge, having straight driven Burke for 6, but having taken some runs from Chris Hoddinott’s first two overs he then miscued one to Chris Yue and was out for 40. After this only Dave Selves looked like offering any resistance, although Harry Pike swatted a few fours on his way to 18. Hoddinott worked his way through the lower order before Jasper ‘the Cat’ Holliday came on and ended Selves innings on 49 with a mistimed slash to gully which was held by Pete Burke. Hoddinott finished his spell with the remarkable figures of 8-3-20-4, and Micky Sumner quickly claimed the remaining two wickets with his chinamen, though not before Kieran Hoddinott, playing for North Curry, nearly hit Holliday for 6 over mid-wicket batting left handed! Holliday ended up with 1-34 in 5 overs, identical figures to those of Andy Cox after his first 5 overs, though anyone suggesting any other similarity  between their bowling is liable to get a very hard stare.

 

The win by 132 runs looked one sided, but in fact had NAG lost another wicket before Burke and Cox got going the scores might have been very different, as it was only really their huge partnership that made the difference. The game was, despite some unhappiness over umpiring decisions, played in a very good spirit, with plenty of joking between both sides. It was a shame that very few of the opposition appeared at the pub, especially as having listened to their banter all day the convoy split in two and confused the Hoddinotts so much that they got lost and never made it to the pub! Those who were there (one of the opposition by the end) enjoyed the usual presentation of fines, and the special award of a huge pair of pants (Andy Payne size) to Micky Sumner to mark his achievements as captain on the day.

 

Coalpit Heath Under 12’s v New Ash Green
Monday 26th July 2004

Why Did He Ever Retire?….Oh Yes, That’s Why!

 

Tour Match - 40 Overs

New Ash Green 120 all out (34.4 overs)
Coalpit Heath 121-8 (33.3 overs)
New Ash Green lost by 2 wickets.

Monday dawned grey and overcast, the traditional weather for the fixture against Coalpit Heath. Some of the squad played golf in the morning, but little has come back from that except two snippets – Micky Sumner didn’t finish last, he beat Gary Browning, and Andy Payne would have got his first ever hole in one if he hadn’t hit his first (“practice”) ball in the lake. As it was he recovered to dramatically save his par.

 

The rest of the squad struggled through vicious roadworks at the junction of the M32 and the Bristol ringroad to arrive on the ground more or less on time. There was initially some concern that there had been confusion with a colts fixture, but it turned out that the opposition did contain 3 adults and a number of players aged between 12 and 16 from the very talented and successful Coalpit Heath Colts Section. This seemed to slightly phase the hastily appointed captain Chris Yue, who was concerned about the possibility of bullying small boys. He won the toss and chose to bat first, strangely deciding that he would like to spend some time in the company of Chris Hoddinott. Both were soon struggling, particularly against the seam bowling of Gloucestershire Colt Tom Williams, and Yue was the first to go, bowled by Williams for 6. Alex Payne didn’t last much longer before he was caught and bowled superbly by Williams, who was forced to end his spell, due to age restrictions, with figures of 5-3-4-2, much to New Ash Green’s relief! Chris Hoddinott had been swatting some runs from the young spinner at the other end, but he was beaten by a low one and was LBW and bowled to the same ball for 17. Gary Browning and Andy Payne cautiously rebuilt the innings, Payne in particular taking care against the 12 year old and very tiny Jack Williams, having got out to the first ball bowled by North Curry’s youngster the previous day. He was however positively rapid compared to Gary Browning, both in running between the wickets and in scoring rate as Browning played out 15 consecutive dot balls against bowlers who’s combined age probably didn’t reach his own.

 

Eventually Browning succumbed, bowled by Tremlin, and a new game was created as Jasper Holliday marched to the wicket. A sweepstake was created on how many balls he would stay in for, with bets initially starting in the region of 4-9. However Paul Sumner and the Hoddinotts, who had seen Jasper performing this season, had more faith, with Chris Hoddinott at 25 eventually being the highest taker. With various episodes running between the wickets and balls chipped in the air out of fielder’s reach this added an interesting dimension to the game as first one spectator then the next was on the money. Jasper himself, unaware of what was going on, gave the pavilion several hard stares as cheers floated up at dot balls, and strange encouragement was shouted to take suicidal runs as gamblers faced the loss of their stake if he survived one more ball. More tension was added when wickets started to fall at the other end and batsmen joined Jasper who had a stake in his survival or dismissal, though only Paul Sumner was ever in a position to run him out and claim the money, and he was far too much of a gentleman to do so. Jasper eventually exceeded all expectation in reaching 26 balls and ensuring that it was his most faithful supporter, Chris Hoddinott who walked off with the money.

 

Meanwhile back in the cricket match Andy Payne had struck a number of fours before eventually being caught for the top score of 32. Kieran Hoddinott had decided to bat left-handed again, despite the team needing runs and the fact that had he stayed in for a few more balls he would have had the opportunity to run Jasper out and claim the sweep. He was instead bowled for 0. Paul Sumner never really looked in touch, and he was caught in the infield for 10. Matthew Quantrill joined Jasper, who having survived so well had a terrible prod at Tremlin’s last ball and gifted him his 5th wicket with the easiest caught and bowled chance imaginable, eventually leaving for 9 hard earned runs. Matt Bushe showed his increasing confidence in his batting by taking several singles and stealing the strike twice, before achieving his ambition for tour by hitting a 4 (his first ever), a very good one straight driven past the bowler. With the County Colt seam bowler due back on Matthew Quantrill tried to up the scoring rate from the last over from young spinner Jack Harris, but having hit one 4 he was caught on the square leg boundary and last pair Alan Cottrell and Bushe could add only 2 more before the innings was wrapped up when Cottrell was bowled by Jack Williams, who was only just over one fifth his age!

 

With not a huge amount of bowling in the side New Ash Green were looking for a tight start, and were particularly relying on Paul Sumner to produce a tidy spell. Unfortunately he seemed to take his brother’s mishaps from the previous day too much to heart, as his bowling was, frankly, pants. The revelation came at the other end, with Alan Cottrell opening up despite having retired officially from cricket several times over. Nonetheless he started steadily enough against Coalpit Heath opener May, one of the three adult players in the side, and one who has made plenty of runs in the past, not least against New Ash Green. To everyone’s amazement May went back to the fifth ball and played it down straight onto his stumps. That amazement was increased when the Coalpit Heath skipper, 17 year old Player, simply missed his first ball and the Plumster was on a hat-trick! He had to wait an over to try for it, but the ball was wasted, being outside off stump. Despite Andy Payne’s whipping the bails off and making a concerted stumping appeal there was never a chance of the wicket. New Ash Green had only to wait one more ball though, as the new batsman, Channon, chipped the ball gently to Chris Hoddinott at square leg. Cottrell had 3 in 4 balls, and by the end of the over he had 3-0 from 2 overs! At this point the question of why he had retired was on everyone’s lips, but from here on in the reason became obvious. He quickly tired and lost his accuracy, becoming a rather more ordinary bowler in the three more overs he could manage before retiring from the attack with 3-13, and his immobility in the field thereafter was second only to Gary Browning, though in fairness it has to be said he was a distant second in that particular contest!

 

Fortunately for New Ash Green as Cottrell tired Paul Sumner was improving, and he removed the dangerous Micky Pritchard with a wide one which tempted him to reach at it and prod into the covers where he was well caught by Chris Yue. At 18-4 Coalpit Heath were in some difficulty, but Phil Harwood and Goodfield then put together a useful stand of 44, seeing off the opening bowlers and scoring steadily from the replacements, Bushe and Quantrill. Once Quantrill gave up trying to bowl seam and settled for flattish spin of varying kinds his bowling improved considerably and he had Harwood bowled for 24. Bushe also took a wicket, getting Goodfield caught at cover, but not before the 12 year old had hit him for a huge 6 into the car park! Coalpit Heath were stuttering again, but Jack Harris and Jack Williams steadied the ship once more, before Harris was eventually caught at mid-wicket from Kieran Hoddinott’s bowling and Williams was run out when his partner called him for an optimistic third against Paul Sumner’s arm, much to Williams’ disgust. The two opening bowlers were now in, including the County Colt Tim Williams, who averages over 50 for the under 15’s, and they looked accomplished batsmen, comfortably seeing off the threat of Alex Payne’s devious flight and triple bounce, Kieran Hoddinott’s all sorts and a couple of overs of Chris Yue. Coalpit Heath crept home by 2 wickets, probably the deserved winners, and they perhaps proved that by the fact that the majority of their team spent the evening practicing in the nets while the New Ash Green side sat around drinking beer and being fined for their poor performances.

 

Failand & Portbury v New Ash Green
Tuesday 27th July 2004

Ants in Your Pants…and Shirt…and Hair….

 

 

Tour Match - 40 Overs

Failand & Portbury 277-8 (40 overs)
New Ash Green 272 all out (39.4 overs)
New Ash Green lost by 5 runs.

The forecast heatwave remained in the future as another grey day greeted the bleary eyed survivors of the 2004 tour’s first night on the town. Memories of what happened appear to be a little vague, but it seems that Chris Yue performed and survived the chat up challenge, Jasper Holliday rejected a very nice young lady that Micky Sumner introduced him to, the Hoddinotts survived a close encounter with the police without being thrown in the cells and Micky Sumner pulled a Spanish woman and four Spanish men on the return to the halls. (Slightly worryingly one of the Spanish men (Ricardo) made several return visits during the week and later told us all proudly that he called Mick ‘Meeek the Deeek’.)

 

The late night disrupted the plans to be at the ten pin bowling alley for 10.30, but surprisingly enough the entire tour party managed to make it there in time for a roughly 11.00 start. The bowling was extensively reported last year, largely because there was no cricket to report on, so this year’s report will be briefer. Two games were played, and the competition in the first, mainly serious, game was quite close, with Quantrill (166) leading the way after recovering from a poor start, with Yue (154), Cox (142), Thorn (137), Alex Payne (collapsing from a good start – 136) and Browning (132) all posting  good scores. The second game, disrupted by other priorities, saw Quantrill again lead the scoring with a much lower 127 just scraping ahead of Bushe and Paul Sumner on 125 and Mick Sumner on 123. However the discovery half way through the first game that the new software and electronic scoring system included a speed gun got Andy Stuart very excited, and a number of alternative contests deriving from that came about. The first was that scores no loner mattered, but the object was to bowl the fastest legitimate ball – i.e. one that knocked a pin down. The obsession with speed saw a number of players hurling lightweight balls down the alley with varying degrees of success, but speeds of 22-23 mph seemed to be the limit. Chris Yue, using a normal weight ball was consistently the quickest, reaching a top speed of 23.98 mph, but the 24 mph barrier was thought to be unbreakable until Quantrill tried one ball with a 12 pound ball, stepping down from his usual 14 pounds, and notched up 24.17 mph, a speed which remained unbeaten. (NB Andy Cox insists that the speedgun in Quantrill’s lane was faulty. I couldn’t possibly comment.) Struggling to match the speed of Yue and Quantrill the remaining bowlers invented further distractions, and the contest for fastest ball with the wrong hand seemed to be finally giving Andy Stuart a win with his 20.51 mph left-handed delivery until Andy Cox sneaked in right at the end with 20.85 mph to snatch that title, although many bowlers deserve credit for high performance with the wrong hand, Pete Burke achieving a strike left-handed. At the other extreme the contest to produce the slowest legal delivery saw a number of balls crawling down the lane. Chris Hoddinott registered the lowest speed, 0.7 mph, but this ball ended up in the gutter, the fate of most of the slowest deliveries. Indeed Andy Stuart sent one off so slowly that it not only wandered very slowly into the gutter but stopped and even started to roll back towards him. In the end it was Alex Payne with a relatively rapid 3.84 mph who registered the slowest delivery to knock a pin down and so complete the roll of honour for the morning.

 

So it was off to lunch at the Failand Inn, via various routes, and from there to the ground. Andy ‘Dougal’ Cox lost the toss to his brother Simon, known for some inexplicable reason as Lardy, though he would be slim in the New Ash Green team, and Failand gleefully elected to bat. New Ash Green took to the field with 10 men after Andy Payne declined to participate in the game because someone had hung a shirt on his peg in the dressing room, moving his towel in order to do so. Bizarrely, despite having at least four other tour party members present on the ground, due to hangovers, injuries and lack of kit no substitute could be found. After about 10 overs Failand took pity and offered a sub fielder, and just after half way Alex Payne returned to the ground from a shopping expedition and borrowed his cousin’s kit to finally bring New Ash Green up to a full XI.

 

Cox opened the bowling himself down the hill, and was well supported by Micky Sumner up the hill. Only with the assistance of extras could the first wicket pair put on 12 in five overs before Paul Bachelor was well caught low down to his right by Matthew Quantrill behind the stumps off Cox. Cox ended his first spell with 1-7 after his last ball was driven for 4, and Sumner having also gone for 7 in his first 4 went for a few more in the next two. Chris Yue had one of his ‘yips’ days and conceded 28 in 3 overs, but it was with the introduction of Pete Burke that things really started going wrong for New Ash Green. In fairness to Burke (not that much sympathy was on offer from the fielders) there were few bad balls in his spell, but Richie Williams, a ringer batting at 3 for Failand launched into such a violent assault on him that Burke was considering a transfer to North Curry when his first 13 balls had disappeared for 41 runs including 3 sixes. He did have Williams caught on the long off boundary soon afterwards for a very rapid 57 that took only 36 balls, despite needing 9 balls to get off the mark! He also picked up the other opener, H Humphreys, played on for 45, and ended up with 2-77 from 8 overs. Having got into the attacking mood Failand didn’t really stop. Although wickets kept tumbling all the batsmen just kept on hitting the ball hard. Paul Sumner bowled a good spell, but went for 37 in 7 overs, James Thorn took 1-23 in 3 and Andy Stuart, bowling off a short run due to his thigh strain, took 1-35 in 4. In the end Cox came back to bowl three more tidy overs at the death and end up with 3-18 in 7 overs but Micky Sumner was clobbered for another 24 runs in his two final overs, despite bowling well, finishing with 1-45 in 8.

 

Failand ended up with a massive 277-8, but not satisfied with this they also unleashed biological warfare on the tourists, releasing hoards of flying ants across the pitch where they got in the batsmen’s face, eyes, hair and clothing throughout the innings, almost all the batsmen reporting insect bites at some stage or other. However Failand were more generous with their choice of bowlers, opening up with a relatively gentle seamer and spin from the far end. Kieran Hoddinott took a couple of singles and a lovely leg glanced four, but was soon caught on the boundary swinging at the spinner, and Rob Newmarch didn’t last much longer bowled trying to hit across the line, though he did reach 8 courtesy of some overthrows. Matthew Quantrill and Andy Cox rebuilt the innings with a steady 58 for the third wicket, but Cox never seemed entirely in touch and in the first over of real pace bowling from G Humphreys he cut a four but then hit a very similar ball straight to cover, caught for 21 much to his disgust. James Thorn then joined Quantrill and they added another 51 in slightly quicker time, hitting Ed Humphreys out of the attack with 0-23 in 2 overs and taking plenty of runs from the leg spin of Simon Bachelor. Quantrill passed his 50 before eventually being run out in a ‘misunderstanding’ with Thorn (!) for 67. This brought Alex Payne to the crease, and after he and Thorn had seen off the pace of G Humphreys they feasted on the bowling of Simon and Paul Bachelor, with Payne hitting Paul Bachelor for two extraordinary sixes over cover. This partnership added 89 in just over 10 overs and kept the tourists in the run chase. Both batsmen reached their 50’s before being dismissed, Thorn for 55 to the first ball down the hill from the returning Ed Humphreys and Payne stumped for 53 to Richie Williams. Ed Humphreys seemed a different proposition down the hill – having gone for 23 in 2 overs up he returned to take 4-21 in 3 overs bowling down, also picking up Chris Yue, Pete Burke and Paul Sumner. Simon Cox did his best to keep New Ash Green chasing the runs, coming on himself and immediately being hit for a huge six over extra cover by Andy Stuart and going on to concede 17 in his over. He decided not to risk another over with 14 needed to win from the final over, and the last pair at the crease. Richie Williams, apparently a very quick opening bowler, but bowling flat spin today, was recalled. He immediately raised New Ash Green hopes with 4 wides, leaving just 9 now needed from 6 balls, but after three more singles Micky Sumner was adjudged LBW by the President, to his disgust (“it may have been plumb but you don’t give those out in the last over”), and New Ash Green were left 5 runs short with Stuart 31*.

 

It was a fine entertaining game, well managed by Failand who could probably have shut the game down with the pace bowlers at their disposal had they wished to do so, but instead chose to play it as if it were a proper game of cricket and keep New Ash Green in the hunt and so take wickets. There was time afterwards for a very sociable round of fines and for Micky Sumner to prove his vodka tasting skills by successfully picking Smirnoff and orange juice from three alternatives, thus proving a boast he had made the previous night was no idle one despite widespread scepticism at his ability to do so.

 

Temple Cloud v New Ash Green
Wednesday 28th July 2004

Anyone Else Want to Try Keeping?

 

 

Tour Match - 40 Overs

Temple Cloud 249-7 (40 overs)
New Ash Green 202-9 (40 overs)
New Ash Green lost by 47 runs.

Yet another grey day and more bleary eyes for the tourists. The previous evening’s entertainment had consisted of a trip to a salubrious Bristol establishment, called something along the lines of Reflex. This was later described as a ‘mostly gay’ place, though this doesn’t seem to have prevented Chris Yue from becoming entangled with a young lady. However this mixing of the sexes may well have been a breach of the rules of the house, as much to Chris’s disappointment the young lady in question was immediately thrown out of the club by 'the scary lady'! Subsequent highlights included the opportunity to watch Micky Sumner pole dancing, a sight which may well have been captured on camera and could soon be available for all the world to see via this very site! The club was not to everyone’s tastes though – Gray Browning departed immediately for the Casino. The original tour instructions had told everyone to join the casino in advance in preparation for an evening of gambling, but only Gary had abided by this instruction, even Alex Payne, who had issued it, having neglected to do so. Gary however left everyone else regretting their forgetfulness when he came away a whole £1000 pounds richer for the experience, preserving his winnings by walking back from the casino and then forgetting the door entry number and spending much of the rest of the night in the car park.

 

With no events planned for the morning the touring party were able to take their time in getting up and preparing for departure to the pub for lunch. Knowing the navigational skills of the tourists the President had amused himself by selecting a small pub down a number of country lanes. To add to the fun the issued tour instruction included directions to a nearby but wholly different pub also called the Ring’O’Bells. However the drivers and their respective navigators proved themselves with great success, all arriving at the Ring’O’Bells in good time without getting lost, though the variety of routes chosen probably did not include the most direct in any case. A good meal was enjoyed by all, and New Ash Green may have made tour history by having the whole squad properly fed and at Temple Cloud in good time for the start.  The team selection had been posing some problems. Paul Sumner was playing in place of the injured Gary Browning (bruised heel from the weight of carrying his wallet around with him) and Matthew Quantrill was drafted in to replace Andy Payne (returned to Kent in a sulk) Then it was realised that Andy had not been in the XI for this game anyway, so Quantrill was reserve again. Then Kieran Hoddinott decided he was not well enough to play, so Quantrill was back in. Until Kieran got better over lunch and decided that he would play after all. That was the New Ash Green XI sorted out, but it then turned out that Temple Cloud were in fact a man short, so Quantrill was back in the match, this time playing for Temple Cloud.

 

A toss then took place, and whatever the result Temple Cloud ended up batting. To his surprise Quantrill was asked to open with Temple Cloud’s star player Jamie Hayne, who has been playing against New Ash Green on and off for many years. Quantrill faced first, and Chris Yue, still suffering from lack of confidence in his bowling, started off with three full tosses outside off stump, all of which Quantrill hit for 4, avoiding the three gullies that had been placed for him. Yue followed up with two wides, one of which went for 4, but then finished off the over with three good balls. Paul Sumner at the other end slipped in a couple of bad balls that were punished and although Yue bowled a much better over a leg side full toss was pulled for 6 to fine leg by Quantrill. With Hayne also stroking fours off Sumner to the straight boundary the score had reached 46 by the end of the 4th over! Micky Sumner had been hoping to play as a wicket-keeper batsman in this match, but this early onslaught was too much for Alex Payne to bear, and Sumner was replaced behind the stumps by Pete Burke. Sumner joined his brother in the attack, and the run rate did slow down somewhat. In the meantime a new sweepstake had been rather cruelly invented, this being a sweep on how many balls would pass before Pete Burke caught one cleanly behind the stumps! The runs continued to flow, though, until James Thorn was brought on and Hayne tried to reverse sweep his first ball, being trapped LBW for 39, ending a partnership of 94 for the first wicket which had taken just 12 overs to compile. This brought Rob Newmarch to the crease for Temple Cloud, to join Matthew Quantrill, rekindling what has often been a fruitful partnership. It may have looked that way again as Micky Sumner, having changed ends, went for two straight fours and one pulled one, and Thorn for a big straight six, an off driven four and a reverse pull for 4, sending the total racing to 129 by the end of the 15th over. Sumner, however, then managed a maiden to Newmarch and from the first ball of Thorn’s next over Quantrill stepped back to try and replicate Alex Payne’s cuts for 6 at Failand and was bowled for 73. From here on the batting was rather more sedate, although Simon Coombes did hit his second ball from Thorn for a huge six over the road. Thorn, though, was working his way steadily through the wickets. After 7 overs he had 5-37, and picked up a sixth in his 10th over with the assistance of a magnificent catch from Jasper Holliday at mid-wicket. In the meantime with Alex Payne doubtful about the prospects of his various bowlers (or at least that’s the excuse he used) Pete Burke had been relieved of wicket-keeping duties and replaced by Andy Stuart. Once back in the outfield Burke squandered the chance to give Thorn his seventh wicket when he dropped one at mid-wicket, and with the prospect of taking all 10 fading Thorn was removed before the end with figures of 12-1-64-6. There was time for Chris Yue to come  back and bowl two much more steady overs , including taking the wicket of Coombes for 45. Coombes had hit a relatively simple chance to deep mid-wicket where James Thorn took the ball on the end of his finger, spilling the catch and badly injuring his finger, but to the very next ball he produced a top edge which was taken by Andy Stuart running back from behind the stumps. Yue ended up with 1-41 from 4 overs, but having effectively gone for 18 in his first three balls this actually represented a good recovery. In the end Temple Cloud were kept to 249, a considerable improvement on what had seemed the possible target for New Ash Green at one stage!

 

A choice was offered of Quantrill or Newmarch to keep wicket for Temple Cloud, and without hesitation Quantrill nominated Newmarch. A plethora of byes and leg-byes helped the opening pair of Pete Burke and Kieran Hoddinott to make a steady start, and with the assistance of a few powerful blows by Burke they brought up the 50 in the 10th over. While this wasn’t quite up with the pace set by the Temple openers it was a very solid start and a good base for chasing the big total. When the partnership had reached 66 Hoddinott got an edge on one from Spencer Pocock, but not enough of an edge to deflect the ball round the stumps and he was bowled for 15. In the very next over Burke hit Polly Flinders brutally flat to wide long on, but picked out Quantrill on the boundary, and Micky Sumner, who had negotiated his way up the order to number 3 tapped one gently into the safe hands of Hayne at short extra cover. Suddenly reeling at 70-3 New Ash Green had to rebuild, but Andy Stuart and Chris Hoddinott struggled to up the pace until Stuart chose the wrong man to try and sneak two to, Hayne’s throw from the boundary straight to the top of the stumps leaving Hoddinott well short of his ground. Chris Yue’s unlucky day continued when he edged a pull onto his stumps shortly thereafter, bringing in Alex Payne to join Andy Stuart in a partnership that was surely New Ash Green’s last remote hope for victory. Aided by Stuart being dropped at cover from a dolly by Matthew Quantrill (a birthday gift) the pair did add 35 before Stuart hit the first ball from young Daniel Webb straight to cover for 32. Alex Payne had hit a big straight six off Coombes early in his innings, but struggled thereafter before hooking a longhop deep into Polly Flinders very safe hands. Paul Sumner struck a few good blows before slicing to slip and bringing together the partnership everyone had been waiting for – Holliday and Bushe. They managed to add another 17 runs before Holliday was bowled by Daniel Webb for 10, bringing the injured James Thorn to the wicket. He saw off young Webb, and with Bushe scoring his second and third career fours with a flick through mid-wicket and a cover drive, and then reaching double figures for the first time the game was momentarily revived. 70 runs were needed from the last three overs, but Thorn was ruthless against an over of leg-spin bombs from Quantrill, taking 17 from it, and the sight of Rob Newmarch discarding the pads (allowing Emery to become the game’s 5th keeper!) and twirling his bowling arm must have given New Ash Green hope that victory was still possible. Thorn, though, got a single from the first ball and Bushe could not score from the rest. An over from Hayne, ensuring that all eleven Temple Cloud players had a bowl was largely irrelevant, but it was survived by the Thorn-Bushe partnership, despite the 5 men at Cow Corner posted for Mr. Thorn who ended up with 24*, Bushe being 12*.

 

In the end the margin of victory seemed huge, but that was largely down to the start that Temple Cloud got – take that out and the sides were reasonably evenly matched. The game was again played in the best spirit and seemingly enjoyed by all, as were the excellent teas and the barbecue afterwards provided by the President and Barbara. Another enjoyable day on tour, unless you were a wicket-keeper, in which case you got a bit of stick!

 

 

Barrow Gurney v New Ash Green
Thursday 29th July 2004

Time to Go Home…

 

 

Tour Match - 40 Overs

New Ash Green 183-7 (40 overs)
Barrow Gurney 187-8 (40 overs)
New Ash Green lost by 2 wickets.

A beautiful sunny morning at last greeted the touring party, though most of them were close to seeing it before bed rather than in the morning. The previous evening’s entertainment, following the barbecue at Temple Cloud, had consisted of a visit to that high spot of Bristol nightlife, the Lizard Lounge. The half-hearted attempts to get the older members of the touring party into this den of iniquity were partially successful. Matthew Quantrill joined the group on the walk to the club, but declined to go in, opting instead for a wander around the streets of Bristol people watching, but James Thorn did enter the Lizard’s Den. However not long after he had done so the touring team were forced to depart before their leader, Mr. Stuart, got himself into a fight. There had, though, been time to find a potential substitute for one of the many injured players in the squad for the final match, a young man named Dan who had once played for Esher first team. Unfortunately although he was very keen in the evening it subsequently turned out that he had forgotten that he worked and would not be available during the day. Undaunted the team set off in pursuit of further recruits, and in the Kebab shop which was their next port of call they ran into two young ladies, one of whom claimed to have been a cricketer in her youth. Despite the fact that her friend turned Alex Payne down, as she was looking for an older man, she was invited to play and agreed to do so.

 

The plan for the morning had been to get to the pitch and putt course at Ashton Court by about 10 am to allow plenty of time to get round. However the late night meant that only 9 tourists made it to the course at all, and those not before 11. Nonetheless with Jasper Holliday spectating two groups of four set off round the course, and managed to play 12 and 11 holes respectively before it was time to depart. It soon became clear that Pete Burke and Alex Payne were proper golfers, while the rest hacked around with occasional bursts of impressive performance, particularly from Matt Bushe and the Hoddinotts. Burkey nonetheless was consistently the best performer of the day, with Matthew Quantrill consistently the worst, though Matt Bushe also had his very bad moments. The round was, though, most memorable for Burke & Payne’s complete failure to grasp the fact that people who play pitch and putt once a year and never otherwise play golf at all don’t really care in the slightest what the supposed rules are, they just want to have a go at hitting the ball in the hole!

 

The pitch and putting was also marked by various telephone conversations about the state of the day’s teams. The definite loss of Dan and the withdrawal of Alan Cottrell with a swollen knee meant that all the walking wounded had to play, and with the non-players all having arranged to return home early there was still a gap in the team. Alex Payne worked his charm on Amy, the young lady from the kebab shop, even offering her friend a choice of elder single men (Quantrill or Thorn), hastily assuring her this was not serious when the prospect seemed to put her off. Eventually Amy seemed to have agreed to play and directions to the Prince’s Motto were passed on. The tour party assembled there, and after a few reminders the young lady in question, and her friend, did indeed turn up. However having had a kebab the previous night and spent a lot of time talking to Alex Payne she decided that she felt too ill to play, and so the call went out to Polly Flinders, from Temple Cloud, who agreed to turn up. Considerably less attractive than the young lady he replaced it has to be said that he was probably a better cricketer, though we never got to see her perform, so who can be sure. Amy and her friend departed soon after the start with promises to return after the game, but were not seen again and didn’t answer their phones to Alex for some reason.

 

Barrow Gurney had themselves been struggling with team selection and were reinforced by three players from Bristol Sri Lankans, who were able to give New Ash Green something of a taste of what may be in store for them next Spring on their Sri Lanka tour. James Thorn won the toss, and despite a very grassy track and a lack of bowlers (at that point he didn’t know that he would have Flinders) he chose to bat first. Chris Hoddinott and Matthew Quantrill went out to try and start the task of building a big enough total to keep the game alive with depleted bowling resources and a number of liabilities in the field, but Hoddinott was out to the last ball of the second over, aiming an extravagant drive at where he hoped the ball might be rather then where it actually was – between bat and pad and knocking leg stump out of the ground. Those two overs of briskish medium pace from John Hood and the Sri Lankan Premil were enough to give New Ash Green a taste of the difficulties of batting on this wicket with bounce varying from ankle to head height and movement off the seam as well. Quantrill and Rob Newmarch worked very hard, staying positive, looking to attack wherever possible and running very aggressively between the wickets. Quantrill nullified the effects of the variable bounce by batting several feet outside his crease and coming forward to get to the pitch to anything not very short, but nonetheless needed some luck as balls seamed past the edge a number of times. He and Newmarch managed to see off the opening bowlers and their replacements in adding a very hard worked 117 for the second wicket before Newmarch was eventually plumb LBW to Chris Patch for 40 in the 28th over. Alex Payne contributed 10 runs as Quantrill struggled with bowlers who were adjusting their length to counteract his ploy of coming down the wicket and he had to try some different shots. Payne eventually departed to young Ed Holdaway, having failed to take an easy single as a mishit shot dropped short of long off. Payne was so annoyed at the shot that he forgot to run, and paid the price next ball when Holdaway bowled him. With Premil back on Gary Browning managed one 4 before he was beaten by the bounce and gloved one to the keeper, and Kieran Hoddinott was run out as a good piece of fielding from John Hood caught he and Quantrill out as they were looking for a quick second. To make matters worse Hoddinott was called for a short run on the first run and so no runs were scored. Quantrill managed one or two more good shots, but having reached 90 in the 37th over, with acceleration badly needed he aimed a big blow at Holdaway and was bowled as the ball failed to get above ankle height. Polly Flinders managed 8 more runs, Paul Sumner was run out in the pursuit of quick runs and Matt Bushe managed to survive again, taking his tour total to 21 runs in 3 innings undefeated. A total of 183-7 looked under par, particularly with the bowling available, but on the very grassy and uneven wicket it was actually a challenging target.

 

After an excellent tea the New Ash Green side hobbled on to the field, and Paul Sumner, the bowler probably best suited to exploit the conditions opened up. At the other end Matt Bushe demonstrated his remarkable advance as a player this season by opening with his spin, and in fact outperforming Sumner. The first three wickets all fell to Bushe, including a stumping by the latest tour wicketkeeper Alex Payne. When Sumner joined in with a wicket of his own Barrow were reeling at 40-4 in the 13th over. After 8 overs Bushe was rested with 3-32, and Polly Flinders immediately took a wicket getting one to lift and take the edge to Payne behind the stumps. Although Flinders continued to bowl tidily Sumner was rested after taking 1-36 in 10 overs and variously Gary Browning, Kieran Hoddinott and Chris Hoddinott were unable to keep the runs down or make the breakthrough, though a number of shots in the air ended up just out of various fielder’s reach. John Hood and ‘Dizzy’ (one of the Sri Lankans) put on 76 and got the run rate up to what was required before Hood finally put one in the air close enough to Kieran Hoddinott for him to take the catch. Ed Holdaway also teased the fielders with shots in the air, but he and Dizzy added a further 28 runs before Dizzy was finally bowled by Flinders for 76. 18 had been needed off 6 overs, then 12 off the last 4. Matt Bushe had been brought back on, and nearly had a wicket several times, with two stumping chances and a number of shots in the air all going begging. He eventually ended up with career best figures of 11-1-44-3. Holdaway and Fernando, the third Sri Lankan, slowly edged nearer the target, and eventually just three were needed off the last over, bowled by Flinders.  The first ball saw Holdaway charge down the wicket and miss, presenting Alex Payne with a stumping chance which even he in his tired state could not miss. The opening bowler, Premil came to the crease. His first two balls were struck well into the covers, but fielded safely, and he could not do nearly as well with the next two, and suddenly 3 were still needed from the final ball. This time he swung and connected, and the ball soared out to long on. Although the boundary was short the ball was dipping as it reached it, but sadly there was no fielder there and the ball sailed into the hedge at chest height for six to give Barrow Gurney a last ball win.

 

It was a dramatic end to an exciting game, and after a tour which has, despite the constant grey skies, been entirely unaffected by the weather, the rain started to pour down almost immediately after the teams left the field. Sitting and watching the rain at Barrow before the game has become something of a familiar pastime over the last few years for New Ash Green tourists, and it made a pleasant change to instead do it after the game in the confines of the new pavilion. Barrow Gurney is now, by some distance, the club’s oldest continuous established fixture and the revisiting of old friends year after year is one of the great pleasures of tour. New Ash Green were pleased to be able to contribute fine and jug money for the day to the pavilion fund at Barrow and will look forward to many more visits over the years.

 

The Infamous and All-Important Tour Averages

 

NAGCC 2004 Tour Batting Averages

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Qualification: 1 Completed Innings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pos.

 

Player

Games

Inns.

NO's

Runs

Hi-Score

Average

1

 

Dougal (known in Kent as Cocky)

2

2

1

87

66*

87.00

2

 

Burkshire

3

3

1

111

70*

55.50

3

 

Q

4

4

0

212

90

53.00

4

 

Senior Pro

4

3

1

95

55

47.50

5

 

Boy

3

3

1

85

32

42.50

6

 

Surly Shirley

2

2

0

50

32

25.00

7

 

The President

2

2

0

48

40

24.00

8

 

Big Al (not Plum!)

4

4

0

85

52

21.25

9

 

Jazzmagzzz

4

2

0

19

10

9.50

10

 

The Edge

4

3

0

21

17

7.00

11

 

Geezer (aka Loadsamoney!)

3

3

0

20

14

6.67

12

 

Kezza

4

4

0

22

15

5.50

13

 

Anon

4

4

0

21

10

5.25

14

 

Geek

3

3

0

9

7

3.00

15

 

Yueeeeee

4

3

0

9

6

3.00

16

 

Plum (not Big Al)

1

1

0

0

0

0.00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also Batted, but not Qualified for the Averages

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1

 

Bushtaq

3

3

3

21

12*

******

2